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” Lauren looked confused, and he continued, “Like - my entire family!”“What...”“Listen, I wouldn’t trust my sisters or sisters-in-law any farther than I can throw them. I have no idea what has happened to the bridal suite at the Sheraton, but I have no intention of finding out.”Lauren laughed and looked at him curiously. “Like what?”“Well, for instance, there have been some people who have found themselves short-sheeted or with Rice Krispies in their beds, or an opened can of shaving cream in their luggage...”Lauren’s head whirled around to look at their luggage. “It’s safe,” commented Peter.“Who...”“I told you, all of your new sisters-in-law. Come on, you and Susan are as thick as thieves. Do you think she wouldn’t?”Lauren suddenly realized that her friend Susan most certainly would, probably with enthusiastic help from the others, along with Heather and Soupy. “Wouldn’t your mother keep them in line?”Peter gave a snorting laugh. “Who do you think taught them how to short-sheet a. Now as for the evidence, George has his friend that runs a PI firm. I guess I need to see who it is before I can plot my revenge.When we get home, she starts trying to get me going, but I tell her, "I am not in the mood after being yelled at because of a furry rat."Her eyes get cold and she said, "I don't want to even touch you right now."I said, "Good go sleep with the rat in the guest room."She stormed out. That was easy enough. I lay down but sleep is a long time coming.I get up with the sun. I go in to the bathroom to shower then shave. I open the cabinet to get a new razor and see her birth control pills. She has got about a week before she gets to the placebos I replaced to get her pregnant. I open the package and switch the placebos and the normal pills around. Ah such cold hearted revenge makes me feel good. I look in the mirror twirl the end of an imaginary mustache, and laugh like Dick Dastardly.I get dressed and think about what to do next. I go down stairs and leave a note.
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